Today, I want to be a grandmaster

I have been playing on chess.com for a while now and despite being highly intelligent (not to toot my own horn) I'm just not that good. I'm impatient and go for the quick kill instead of thinking multiple moves ahead. Unlike other things I write about here, I am actively working on getting better, I doubt I'll ever make it to grandmaster but I think I will get better than I am right now.

Today, I want to be a headmaster

I was reading about Eton College and it rekindled in me the on again, off again flights of fantasy I have about running a school, specifically a high school (or if I had the qualifications and stomach for it a University) which attempts to rekindle the old ways, although not at the expense of the new.

For example: Latin, calculus and physics should be compulsory, as well as a solid bout of literature. Further, personifying the new ways, computer science &c should also be taught. I don't know if such a rigorous curriculum would either a) offer the flexibility that is wanted, or I would argue needed, for modern students or b) have enough appeal to garner sufficient students to be successful (read: scrape by).

Today, I want to be unemployed

I have had the past couple of weeks off between finishing up final exams and before I start my summer (at least hopefully it will only be for the summer and my school-year economic situation works out alright) and I'm loving it. I get to stay up late, wake up late (circa noon) and accomplish very little. I know this would get annoying very quickly (or at least after a month or so) and not earning any money is ill-advised for obvious reasons.

A friend of mine lost his job a few months ago and has been getting unemployment since then. I hate a welfare state (or at least the taxes I pay to help it along) as much as anyone and I appreciate the value of a good day's work for a good day's pay but the work-a-day world is seeming more and more like a load of bollix.

It has more than a week since I emailed my summer job (whom I am leaving anonymous for, ironically, fear of being unemployed) with a couple of events which occur while I am supposed to train (a friend's bachelor party, his wedding and a family trip that's been in the works for a year) and I just received an email from my trainer asking when I was free during my first few weeks of employment and asking a few other questions as well. I esteem the company I am going to work for, I really do, but since I was hired I feel more and more like their service is throughly lacking for the staff (or as Home Depot calls them, or so I've heard, 'internal customers') and it is becoming frustrating.

Perhaps one day I'll have enough money to live off the interest of my investments but I, regrettably, don't think that that will happen for a very long time, if ever.

Update: I went to pre-training recently and I'm looking forward to it again. The only downsides I can foresee is spending most (if not all) of my paycheque on toys or saying bugger it to my Ph.D to work in retail 'forever' after which I burn out after a few years and am screwed.

Today, I want to be a polyglot

I have always loved languages, they're fun to know and to learn and to play with. However, the sheer amount of effort, time and energy required to so much as approach fluency is far more than I wish to expend or have to expend. Shame really.

Today, I want to be an AI

I just read "An AI-Box Experiment" by Eliezer Yudkowsky discussing whether or not a post-Singularity AI could talk someone into letting it out of its 'box'. I would LOVE to do the 'experiment' although I think I would do better as a gatekeeper than the AI I suppose.

Anyone interested in trying, feel free to comment and we can set it up.

Also Yudkowsky is a research fellow at the Singularity Institute for AI which would be a nice place to be in the future although I'm somewhat curious if a Ph.D in bioethics will get me there or if, as Mum had said, I'll end up with more than one before I'm finished.

Today, I want to be a type setter

I realized today that I don't usually get off the ground in writing because I spend more time getting the font to look nice than creating content. If only there were a job (I just thought type setter was close) where I just played with margins, fonts &c. Le sigh.

Today, I want to be an author

I have always wanted to participate in Nanowrimo but I have end of term stuff and thanksgiving holiday which eats up a lot of time. Perhaps I'll do Script Frenzy in June or I'll get around to compiling that anthology of manifestos I've been meaning to get around to for *checks dates on currently accumulated files* five years.

Now if I can just pick a topic I like for more than a week or two at a time...

Today, I want to be a magician

I'm watching The Illusionist, although not for the first time, and it reminds me for the intermittent desire I have had to be proficient at magic. Well, sleight of hand, big, David Blane style stage magic is a bit too much for me (although figuring out/learning how those sorts of tricks are done is fun and quite cool). Card tricks, coin tricks and tricks with rubber balls would all be awesome to know how to do. I'm sure my cousin (less little every day) would love it.

Today, I want to be a member of a world government

I don't mean 'Today, I want to be a politician in a world government' (although I should get around to writing 'Today, I want to be a politician'). I mean I want to be a citizen of the world. (Thomas Paine: 'I am a citizen of the world and to do good is my religion' smart chap).

I read The Truth Machine a long time ago and loved the idea(s) presented there. After having read Little Brother they are a bit more disturbing. There, however, is some good that I find in world government, questions of privacy (e.g. can a world government, or any government, be effective if it allows for privacy considering that the ability to kill more and more is available to increasingly smaller groups of people?) aside. For example, there wouldn't be this SNAFU (look it up, it's educational) in Iraq. Removing Hussein from power, if we assume that was right and proper, would have been a police action not an act of war.

A necessary but not sufficient condition for a state (including a world state) is a currency. The EU, for example, has the Euro. I'd be throughly interested to see how (if we assume there would be sufficient agreement to move forward is possible) the arguments made concerning the basket of commodities to compose the currency. Or, of course, it could be a fiat currency but I fear Ron Paul may drop dead at the very mention. A proposed world currency, based on hard goods, is the Terra (you can also read the white paper [pdf]).

As we all now know, I love freedom-a lot-but I feel like things would be better and more stable for everyone if there was one, or three (triumvirate) or five (quintumvirate?), person/persons to whom the governments of the world must answer. I think we wouldn't be burdened with President Bush.

There are, obviously, problems with such a setup: how would the heads of planet be chosen especially considering all those who can neither read nor write nor get to a polling location? What would this do to national sovereignty? National identity? National cultures? Is the UN the starting place or should it be worked from the ground up? Where is the headquarters? I don't have answers, and they're not easy ones and I don't have quick and easy answers. The proposal of the necessity of world government (which I would make although I have not really done so here) will inflame a lot of people and although that's half the fun, hopefully it will not derail a project that is, ultimately and however unfortunately, necessary for the continued safety of the species.

Today, I want to be an opera singer

I love opera, a lot. If I have my iPod in which is most of the time, I'm probably listening to an opera, Bocelli or Pavarotti. I wish, very truly, that I could do anything near what they do with their voices. I can barely hold a tune together long enough to sing some in the shower; it doesn't stop me from trying though.

Perhaps this is one of those times, like with the black belt thing, that if I applied myself I could sing well but I doubt that. I think this is more of a born with it or not deal. Sad panda.

Today, I want to be FREE

This one is also Cory Doctorow's fault. I'm sick and spend most of yesterday laying in bed and devouring his new book Little Brother. Like all his others it's free (as in beer) and available to read online here. I love that kind of freedom, not as much as some (*cough* freegans *cough*) but a lot; I've done my fair share of dumpster diving, best find a computer full of viruses with a screwed up BIOS that my friend and I got working. I'll leave the rest of that story for another day. This sort of freedom, getting something without having to give money for it is called gratis (if you clicked on the "as in beer" link you already know this); it's awesome.

Also awesome is the other sort of free (as in speech): Libre. This one is great, it's awesome (we've lost the real sense of that word by the way), it's... the dog's bollox (I promise that it's not a picture of a dog's balls, scout's honor). We are, however, losing it in this country. The DMCA and the Patriot Act (ACLU link, some times too left for my taste but this is good info, imho) are the two big reasons I want to leave the country but the Hamlet principle applies (bear those ills we have,. Than fly to others that we know not of). Besides, the DMCA is, despite the RIAA and MPAA's fettish-like attachment, a bad law that doesn't do much. I can still get any album I want or any movie I want or any TV show that I want (e.g. the latest Dr. Who from the BBC while BBC America is a year behind) in less time that it would take to get it legitimately (read: legally, I suppose) and it's all free (like beer). That's not saying that what I'm doing is necessarily illegal (except circumventing the copy protection on my DVDs, those I bought in the store, so I can watch them on my iPod or make a backup) as I would argue that if I can get a copy of the show on VHS from a friend why not online and why just one friend not however many are in the swarm.

None of the above has anything to do with Doctorow's book, I got distracted, sorry. Little Brother is the single most frightening thing I have read in a very long time. It is not horror by any stretch but I could see the things he described the Department of Homeland Security being done for real. I won't ruin the story, go read it, but it's scary and I see it happening. I want my country back. I want politicians who are not the lowest common denominator. I want politicians who will fight for our liberty not give it up to give us illusory security. I want your vote for Congress. Wait, no that comes later; give me a few years then I'll do "Today, I want to be in Congress (and I need your help)".

In the mean time I really do want to encrypt my data. I don't have anything TOO incidious on my computer(s) but my life is truly on those machines and it's almost all stored in clear text. Similarly I'm looking at torrent freedom to keep my online goings on encrypted. Privacy is, for me, a buttress and necessary precondition for freedom not a threat to it. Finally, and note well this is not arguing for the violent overthrow of the government, but I want to just give a passage from one of my favorite documents.

'Governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, that whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles, and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness.'

Today, I want to be out of the religious closet

I'm sick of people thinking I am religious. I understand that some or even most people have their religions and derive much joy from it but I am not among them. (A note for my girlfriend: I love you please ignore anything derisive I say or at least don't hold it against me, also I miss you, come back soon).

I seem to let it slide when people assume I'm religious in a conversation. In my context it makes sense that they would but it gets old sometimes. On the other hand, I don't quite know how or in what sort of circumstances or when (vis-a-vis my relationship with the person) should I break it to them.

This wouldn't (and in fact shouldn't) be such a big deal but atheists are the least trusted group in America. There's also the saving thing which I would prefer being free of. On the other hand there is the being honest thing which would be nice. *shrugs*

I think this one is going to remain unresolved for a while, I doubt a button/tshirt that says 'your god is imaginary' would get me very far in life.

Today, I want to be an Apple Retail employee

I had a group process with Apple on Saturday. I thought that it would just be a summer job to pay the rent and feed be and all those cool things jobs let us do. Maybe I've really drank the kool-aid on Apple but I love my Macbook Pro and I would happily work with them both this summer and through the school year (if I could make it work).

The discount would be killer and so would the opportunity to become a Genius (someone who is licensed to fix Macs, iPods &c) or the opportunity to try the Apple retail-corporate exchange, a program that would be 3 months in Cupertino with the opportunity to work for Apple corporate. Do I want to work there long term is another question altogether but it could be fun. If only their offices weren't (only) in California...

Today, I want to be a transhuman

I blame Cory Doctorow for this particular desire. His first novel, Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom, is available for free online under a Creative Commons license. It explores life in a world where death has become passe along with money (which has been replaced with Whuffie, a reputation based currency) and sparsity. It is, however, his short story 0wnz0red, about a computer programmer turned transhuman (one who, through the use of technology, exceeds or greatly expands his inherent capacities) that makes me wish this state upon myself.

"Sleep, it's like a third of your life, 20, 30 years. What's it good for? It resets a bunch of switches, gives your brain a chance to sort through its buffers, a little oxygenation for your tissues. That stuff can all take place while you're doing whatever you feel like doing, hiking in the hills or getting laid. Make 'em into cron jobs and nice them down to the point where they just grab any idle cycles and do their work incrementally" (0wnz0red)

I started falling asleep at just after midnight last night despite having woken up at 11a. I hope and wait for the day that I can grow strong sitting on my couch (also happens in 0wnz0red... actually go read that and come back, back? Ok, moving on), learning a language in a week, being able to control my neurotransmitter levels and just generally have root access on my body. If I'm lucky it will be soon. If I'm not luck it will be long but I'll be on the right side of the actuarial escape velocity (in brief, live long enough to be able to live forever). If I'm unlucky I'll die never having been able to make my body do what I want to in any way but the one that has been available to all since we stepped out of the trees, but I will have lived a full and happy life with those whom I love; that's not too bad for a worst case scenario.

Today, I want to be a black belt

I went and saw Redbelt today and it awakened in me the old urge to have mastery over my body and by extension the world if necessary. I have neither the physical ability, follow through, time or money to do this but it would be fun.

Possible martial arts:
Krav Maga
Savate (yellow gloves)
MCMAP (not going to happen, I'm not joining the military)
Kendo (high dan)
Gun Kata (I wish...)

Today, I want to be better at bullshitting

I am, almost to a fault, a truth teller. If I think something is rubbish I'll probably end up saying it even if such a declaration is very sugar coated. Through a quite circuitous process I have ended up an atheist studying religious ethics at a (very) Catholic university. When exams come around it's somewhat difficult because I am occasionally posed questions such as 'It has been argued that the relationship between theology and science is first and foremost a theological question and that science finds its legitimate autonomy from within its constitutive relationship to theology. This resulted in something of a paradox. On the one hand, this meant that 'creation', understood as the world's relation to God, should be visible in the creature and from within the sciences, according to their mode of considering the world. And yet on the other hand, this relation must be visible in such a way so as not to eliminate the difference between theology and science or compromise the latter's integrity. Drawing on Aquinas, Balthasar and whatever other readings are necessary or useful to address the question, explain how the doctrine of creation adequately understood allows theology to 'speak' to 'judge', or even 'save' the sciences without abandoning its own integrity or compromising that of the sciences.'

I have a dispensation, as it were, from my professor allowing me to argue against the thrust(s) of the course which is a minor victory but I still essentially need to answer the question and say why it's a load of bollix in the footnotes and I can't say it's bollix in certain ways that my professor finds particularly wrong (read: incompatible with his Christian world view), for example positivism or affirming Dawkins' 'cartoon God'. Dawkins defines god as ‘a super-human, supernatural intelligence who deliberately designed and created the universe and everything in it, including us.’ Perhaps my disbelief is showing but that seems pretty fair to me, and I said so in my final. Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.

Today, I want to be a speaker for the dead

I am just finishing up Orson Scott Card's Speaker for the Dead and I find the concept of the humanistic-and I use the term very loosely-religion represented by Ender in his position of speaker for the dead. From wikipedia 'Speakers research the dead person's life and give a speech that attempts to speak for them, describing the person's life as he or she tried to live it. This speech is not an apology, but rather a way to understand the person as a whole, including any flaws or misdeeds.' I can't decide if I have the courage to want someone to speak my death or if I could actually speak others' but I find the concept, along with several others from the book, wholly intriguing. I suppose these questions are moot as there is no framework for one to become a speaker for the dead and there is likely not going to be one. Maybe I'll get lucky and this will change.

Today, I want to be gainfully employed

School's almost at a close for the year and I am without summer opportunities. The job I really wanted turned me down, the job I knew would be a good opportunity but not nearly as interesting placed me as an alternate and no one else is calling me back at all. Hopefully I'll find a way to pay rent and feed myself soon...

Today, I want to be a costumer

I saw a video about costuming for the upcoming film The Watchmen and, being a cinephile, I would love to do numerous things relating to movies many if not all of which I will eventually cover here. I am a religious watcher of Project Runway and wish that I had anywhere near that sort of skill. In brief, this falls under-with many other careers-wish I could do it but I just can't, bloody shame too.

Today, I want to be Lawrence Lessig

I was watching West Wing yesterday and Christopher Lloyd played Lawrence Lessig who had been brought in to help a coalition from Belarus write a new constitution. He founded Creative Commons and is on the board of the Electronic Frontier Foundation. He is, well more accurately was, revolutionizing the way many people think about copyright. He has recently switched foci and is now attempting to, literally, Change Congress. If I ever run for office, there's an idea for another post, I will-hopefully-run under that banner. In brief, Lessig is improving those things about which I care the most and I would be proud and more than happy to be him.

Today, I want to be a scifi author

I just read Ender's Game, sadly for the first time. My thoughts about Orson Scott Card, namely his affiliation with the LDS church aside, it was an amazing piece of fiction and I am in awe of him. I have jointly a huge swath of ideas which could make for great stories, novels or movies and at the same time the seeming inability to get them beyond very rough outlines. Would that this were different, I would love to see my work in the hands of someone on the tube or on the marquee of the local cine. Pipe dreams all, it seems like all the rest of the stuff I talk about on here. I will, one day, be an author but it will only by comparison to much of the material in my field be called science fiction when I argue, for example, that an AI has the same right to life and self-determination as a flesh and blood person. Le sigh.

Today, I want to be a baker

I love to bake, I haven't done it as much in the last year or so as I would like. I would love to be able to whip up madeleines or macarons but at present I can't. Madeleines I can do but they seem to make a bit of a mess. I would love to be able to make a top notch cake, cover it with a bit of nougat and be the hero of a party but I can't. Maybe I just haven't been committed enough or maybe I just do not have the innate skill. In either case a profession in baking is not in the cards. It would be a complete inversion of my life (which is not in itself bad) but the hours would not be so happy. I do not do so well with early mornings and most bakers, so I have heard, start wicked early. On the other hand, I would love (it seems I'm in a loving mood) to take a couple of baking classes at CIA or Le Cordon Bleu. Perhaps later in life.